Type Dancing

So, Sydney. What’s with the Cell Phone?

You know, I realize you have a really tough job ‘n all, working at the CIA as a field agent with your Dad (how weird is that?), and then having a mother who was a double agent and betrayed the CIA and your father and you – it just exhausts me to even write this. So, I respect your position, I really do. But why on God’s green earth do you keep your cell phone on ring? And not just any ring. This baby blasts out a tuneless set of notes at high volume. What if you were, like, undercover when the darn phone rang?

I can just see it. You are Kashka, a beautiful Arab heiress. Your father is a sheik and quite powerful in your region of the Sudan. And he really is your father, Jack, dressed in a long beard and turban. You are there to stop an exchange of a secret weapon between a fringe Palestinian organization and you’re number one enemy, the man who betrayed his country and you and your father and the CIA, Arvin Sloane.

Your father and you attend a party at the American Embassy where the exchange is to take place. You are dressed in beautiful layers of shimmering green and orange silk, your hair pulled up on the top of your head and tied with more silk that comes cascading down over one eye and wraps itself around the lower half of your face. Many men’s eyes are upon you. You spot the contact from the fringe organization and you make eyes at him. You sashay over towards him. He leans toward you and breathes, “You are magnificent!” You smile and look down at the floor. Then you extend one long, slender arm, with a long slender hand at the end of it, with a long slender finger at the end of it, and you beckon him seductively. Then you sashay out of the room and down the hall. He follows. Your plan is working. He is about to wrap you in his arms, which puts you in direct contact with the key he wears around a chain on his neck. This key will give you access to the vault where the weapon is being kept.

Suddenly, there is a loud duh sound. “Duhuhuh-duh-duh-duh-duh- duhuh, duh duh duh duh duhuhuhuh…” It’s your cell phone. Do you answer it? Do you let it keep ringing until your voice mail picks up? If so, what do you and the bad guy do in the mean time? Do you start to file your nails? Does he comb his hair? And when the cell phone stops ringing, do you pick up where you left off?

NO.

Come on, Sydney. Be real. You’ve blown your cover. You’ve lost the key. Face it. This is your one flaw as a secret agent. (Ahem!) But, don’t worry. I’ll keep your secret….

Posted by ellen at January 10, 2005 09:29 PM